I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
