Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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