8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
