I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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