I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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