Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
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Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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