do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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