You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good