They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.