Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?