But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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