It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
