I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
