Say something about gay babies.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
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