Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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