Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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