Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
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Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I touched a dick in church today
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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