You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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