We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
