I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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