I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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