OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
