if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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