I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
