I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
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why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize