Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
