note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My ATM looks so different sober.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
