we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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