the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
