Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
