i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
