Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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