you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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