You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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