Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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