and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
