drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
