im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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