remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
