Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I don't deserve a penis
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
