I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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