Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
