That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Drunk is not a location!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
