I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i need some magic done to my vagina
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
