what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
