I'm drive I can fine osifer
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize