He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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