And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
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Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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