Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dignity is for republicans.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
