This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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