i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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