Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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