Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
