Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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