my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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