ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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