And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
