i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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