I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
