yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
