I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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