I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize