i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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