I'm really into asian looking animals
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
